|Elf Shoes : Why Santa's Elves Wear Silly Shoes|
People often ask me, "what is the story with those silly little shoes that Santa's elves wear?". My response is typically that the elves find these shoes more comfortable then wearing wooden clogs. The reason that they are little, is because the elves have little feet. I receive a polite little chuckle on occasion, but clearly my answers leave people unsatisfied. Anyway, I thought it was time to set the record straight. If I answer the dilemma this one time, possibly everyone will stop asking me this tiresome question.
So, here is the answer to why Santa Claus's elves wear funny little shoes.
One early morning nearly 340 years ago, Santa was sitting quietly by his favorite fishing hole. Yes, it was actually a "hole" not simply a metaphor for a location in which Santa likes to fish. The fact of the matter is that in the North Pole, one actually has to cut a hole in the ice in order to reach the frigid water beneath. This fine morning, Santa was sitting on an ice block and dipping his line up and down and up and down in the water. Over and over the motion continued. Lifting his line slowly, then dropping it down to it's original state. Up and down, up and down... As usual, his cheeks were a lovely shade of rose and chubby as can be expected. It happened to be that this wind chilled morning was actually only 37 days before Christmas. Mr. Claus swiftly approaching his proper weight. His cheeks were nearly ripe and surely would be ready for joyful giggles come Christmas Eve. As he set patiently by the water hole, as he often did, a seal suddenly poke his nose up out of the ice. Startled, Santa actually slipped backwards off his seat of ice on which he had been perched. Landing with a thud, flat onto his back and with eyes staring toward the heavens, he let out a sort of chuckle. It was actually a mix between a chuckle and a grimace. Possibly, the fall to the ice removed a bit of wind from Santa's sails. Shaking his head to the left and to the right to make sure that his head was still properly situated, Santa let out a noise that was most definitely a clear, resounding, "chuckle". By gosh, Sally... you scared the day lights out of me. Lifting himself from the ground in a what appeared to be a very struggled sit-up, Santa rolled to one knee and then popped to his feet. Stepping closer to the fishing hole and waving his finger from left to right, he exclaimed to Sally the Seal, "you certainly know better then to pop up so quickly from my fishing hole; I must have told you a thousand times". Sally let out a yelp, yelp, yelp as she rapidly moved her snout from down to up in a repetitive motion. Santa smiled as he picked up his pole from the snow covered ice. He drew the line from the water, unlatched the candy cane from the end of his fishing line and turned to head back toward town. Sally the Seal, waddled close beside...
As Santa started wandering back toward town, he looked off to his right and down toward sally and asked out load (as if Sally could speak back), "I wonder if this will actually work". Sally yelped as if perplexed by Santa's question. He caught the hint of confusion on Sally's face and restated his thoughts. Well Sally, as you know I go to that fishing hole as often as free time allows. Time after time, I dip candy canes up and down in the water for hours on end. My question is, "Do you think that if I continue to dip the canes, the sugar will absorb into the ocean and help make the world a sweeter place? After all that is why I do it... Well, I guess it can't hurt to keep trying, Santa exclaimed as he continued his trek back to town. He thought to himself, "I should find a closer water hole so I would not have to walk so far in the future..."
Turning the last bend along the river, he was nearly back to town. It was time for Sally the Seal to wave Santa good bye. It was not that she was not welcome in town, she simply had a busy day scheduled and it was time to get started on her chores. Yelp, yelp, yelp... and a fond farewell to you to Santa shouted back to Sally as she began to purposefully slip and slide across the ice covered river.
You are probably asking yourself, what does any of this have to do with, "why do elves wear funny little shoes". Relax, we will get to that part eventually... Plus, you needed to know a little bit about Sally...
Santa climbed one final snow bank then dusted the snow flakes from his knees and shoulders. His work shop was in site. Actually, as you are already aware, the complex contains numerous work shops. The one he was headed for was third on the left and swiftly nearing. With a short sigh followed by a resounding chuckle, he swung open the door. Entering the warm well lit entry way, he neatly hung his coat on the rainbow colored candy cane coat rack. Punching his time card (as everyone must), Santa shuffled toward the center of the room. Finding that he was completely "ALONE". What's this exclaimed Santa... "No elves at their work stations". According to the candy calendar, we are merely 37 days away from Christmas. No elves at their work stations, this simply can not be. "Hello".. Hello.. "Is there anyone hear" Santa stated in a slightly louder voice. Then again a bit louder, hello... And louder once again, "where is everyone". Then from the back corner, in a state of surprise to hear Santa's voice, an elf appeared. Oh, hello Santa the little elf stated. Good morning Charles, Santa replied. Followed quickly by, " where has everyone gone. It is nearly Christmas you know."
Charles began to inform Santa of the situation. After hearing the details, Santa walked over to the elf dormitory. Inside, he saw all the elves trying on "shoes". They had boxes and boxes of footwear covering the room from top to bottom. Stacked high in nearly every corner of the room. Even on top of fireplace mantel you could see half laced Nice Air Jordan's piercing up from their shoe carton. They had boots, sneakers, sandals, etc. You name the brand or color, the elf's appeared to have them all... "What's this?" Santa exclaimed in his usual pleasant voice? The Elves looked up at Santa, and then to their watches. Then back to Santa, and then up to the large clock that hangs over the door way. Oh my, shouted the elves, as they realized that they were very late for arrival to the workshop.
Oh Santa, we are terribly sorry for this delay. Last week, Sally the Seal brought us a shoe catalog that she found during her travels. The selection was so enormous, we simply could not decide which shoes to wear. As we each liked a different pair, we decided to order them all... Now that they have arrived, we could not resist taking turns trying on each style. As you can see, trying to make our shoe selection has thrown us way off schedule. We feel horribly that we risked delays to our Christmas Present Production Schedule. We vow to never allow this to happen again. From this day forward, all elves will agree to wear the same shoe style day in and day out. We will never again be delayed by having too many "choices". As of this moment, we will only wear the shoes that Mrs. Claus gave to us for Christmas last year.
Have you been a good?
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